Relationships or Something like them
by cmfan4eva
Summary: just a little something i wrote while listening to 'Sober' by Kelly Clarkson...eh


**Relationships or something like them.- **_Relationships aren't what other people want them to be, they're what we want them to be. –Angela Lycett (me)_

She looked at the result on the bathroom sink. The two blue strips….the strips that would define the rest of her life….and his…..it was a mistake she had made three months ago….a mistake when they were both drunk and looking for comfort….she loved him then, just like she loved him now….she couldn't tell him….she shouldn't tell him….she was the woman…he didn't need to know….damn their sloppiness…they should've remembered, it wasn't like they hadn't done this before….damn it…there they were…two little blue lines.

It was hard for her not to tell him. He deserved to know but she didn't want to trap him…she didn't want him to feel like he had to be there with her…she was always independent. It was the pain of seeing him everyday….knowing she had his child but never him….she couldn't deal with that…she walked into the office and saw him….in the break room laughing with Reid…he smiled at her but she kept walking…it would be hard but she could do it…she could raise him or her alone.

He walked towards her and leant down….his cologne playing at her stomach….she could feel it churning. He wanted to know if she was okay….if something was wrong with her….she swallowed and smiled at him…the tears coming up behind her eyes….she couldn't hold it anymore, she pushed him out of the way and ran to the ladies room. He just stared after her wondering….hoping he hadn't hurt her….he loved her too much to do that.

They barely talked now….it had been another month and she was only just starting to show….only one person knew…it wasn't him….she carried the ultrasound picture to her favourite blond technician. She laughed at the size of the baby….it was so small…the techie laughed with her….made fun with her…was generally concerned for her….then he came in. she snatched up the picture and walked past him…closing her eyes and she did….not wanting to give herself away…away to be hurt. He didn't know what he had done, she wouldn't tell him, his baby girl wouldn't tell him….it was confusing for him.

They were waiting to storm a house….the unsub had been held up in that house for a day now and they couldn't wait any longer….they went in. she went left…he went right….she checked everywhere but she missed the closet….the unsub came flying out of it….bashing into her and knocking her to the ground…she grabbed at her stomach….the fear entered her….the cramps started….she started to scream…. "no, no, no, no, no!" He ran in and saw her on the ground…her hands on her stomach and it clicked for him…. "you're pregnant" he stated….she didn't care if he knew now or not….she told him to call for an ambulance…it hurt so much….she prayed she didn't lose it.

Lying in the hospital bed, she wondered where they would stand now…if things would be different…how different. She felt like a piece of her was missing…like her stomach was too small….she just laid there and held her stomach, looking out the window…not wanting to pay attention to the world around her…just wishing she could have back what she had lost…what she had wanted.

She didn't hear him enter her apartment…she had forgotten she had given him the key. She forgot a lot now…she wanted to forget. She was lying on the couch, the bottle of tequila on its side next to her….there were bottled scattered everywhere…she couldn't be bothered picking them up or throwing them out anymore. She didn't care….she didn't care about the world around her anymore….they didn't care about her so why should she care about them?.....she could hear him picking up the bottles and putting them into a bag…the clanging was so loud….she couldn't deal…she picked up the tequila bottle and threw it at him…she yelled at him telling him it was his fault….he should have been there…he took it…he didn't say anything just took it….then he held her….she was crying to him….he understood…as much as she didn't like it he understood…she lay with her head in his lap, spent from crying out the pain…she would be fine now….he was with her.

**I don't own Criminal minds….yet….**


End file.
